Halloween Pre-Gaming
In like, 2004 my parents dressed me up as Mulan. It was the pink dress and they did the makeup.
In college, we’d get wigs and wear wigs around our apartment during October and watch horror movies. We’d do all of the Saw and Insidious movies. Maybe Conjuring but that was a bit before the other sequels, I think.
We also went to the pumpkin patch/cider mill often.
My best costume was when I was Girl Dracula.
Once I’d finished being every Disney princess, I was super into being a pirate and vampires. One year, I was a vampire pirate. Everyone thought that was kinda lame.
My worst costume was when I was Jesse from Breaking Bad and everyone wouldn’t give me candy because I wasn’t wearing a costume and just seemed like some delinquent 14 year old. This was my last year trick or treating.
In 2011, I was Lady Gaga in the Poker Face music video. This costume cost my family about eighty bones. I thought it was fucking hilarious.
Three Halloweens ago, Kegan’s college campus was on lockdown for COVID so I couldn’t go and see him. I hung out with my friend Autumn and we got stoned. In fact, she got so stoned she was thought she was having a seizure and was flopping around. I was hyper-focused watching Jeopardy! like, man i’m so sorry but not missing this daily double from 2004. This is an all-timer for me. We got Five Guys too. Sometimes, it’s the simple things.
My senior year, I was sick on Halloween and couldn’t go to a party I’d been invited to. I watched Hocus Pocus for the first time. Something really annoyed me about my dad having seen it without me. He’d seen it watching my older cousins. I was still in the moody teenager phase where I was pretty pissed about not being an adult yet but also feeling like I couldn’t be less of a child anymore. I wished I wasn’t so much younger than them so I could’ve had fun like this. It felt like, by the time I was old enough to do stuff, nothing was cool anymore and everyone was too old to have fun with me. This has been a big issue for me in this life.
The first tattoo I got was done around Halloween. It’s a little sheet ghost on the back of my arm, right above my elbow. I get a ton of compliments on it by beautiful bisexual women.
I imagine Halloween will be exceptionally fun when we have kids. I say the same thing about the other holidays too. I’m at the weird between phase right now where childlike excitement for holidays doesn’t hit me the same because there’s almost no incentive as an adult. Sometimes I think the only time I’m really having fun is when I’m watching other people have fun. I like to be the one that’s causing them to have that kind of fun. I am nothing if not an exceptional host and party organizer.
This Halloween, I’m dressed up as Arthur Morgan. Kegan’s the Phantom of the Opera. We were going to be Wonder Woman and Superman but the costumes were fucked up when we bought them and because I was too excited, I wasn’t really thinking with my pessimist hat on and didn’t check the package. We went back the Spirit Halloween that smells like poop and shit and tried to return the costumes, but the diva manager told us that we were past the date of returns and exchanges. So we panicked and went solo. It felt obvious for me to be Arthur Morgan. I look really cool too. I’m just hoping that with the fake mustache I’ve got, I won’t look too much like “What if My Dad Had Long Hair and Big Boobies.” I’m excited to go to the bar and get compliments.